‘Av’ A Larf At The Flat Caps
On the third composite of the fourteenth motion, congress declares its unilateral support for workers rights against the capitalist oppression of the management and director classes who we will fight unconditionally without recourse to logic or proper negotiation whatsoever, allegedly, as aforesaid, which will not be unreasonably witheld in any circumstances notwithstanding the wishes of the members themselfs.
Are you wiv me bruvvers?
Yes, it’s the annual stand-up comedy fest and flat cap style convention known as the Trades Union Congress. After fish, chips, mushy peas and a bottle of warm stout down at the workingman’s club the delegates will be off for a wild night in Manchester. There’ll be cribbage for the boys, bingo for the girls and chlamidya with an E for the youngsters.
If Doris has a snowball or two, Alf might get lucky tonight. If Tracey has more than a dozen vodka and redbulls, Wayne will be breaching his ASBO again. That’ll set them all up for more vigorous and important debates in the morning on the issues that really matter.
Later in the year we can look forward to a “national campaign of industrial action against spending cuts” and a bit of civil disobedience by bruiser Bob Crowe. This must be what TUC chief Brendan Barber meant when he talked of Britain as a “dark, brutish and more frightening place”.
Don’t miss a minute of it!