Peter Reynolds

I’m one of the lucky ones.  I recovered over £2000 of illegal penalty charges from the Nationwide and HSBC a couple of years back before the High Court stayed all the claims.  I had the great pleasure of walking into HSBC’s Kilburn branch with a judgment stamped by the Bow County Court (local to its Canary Wharf headquarters).  I demanded my money there and then and created a right hiatus in the branch!  I didn’t get it then but I did the following day in crisp £50 notes.

Den Of Thieves

It goes without saying that the banks are all, without exception, cheats, thieves, liars and lowlife scoundrels.  That’s why millions of people were relying on the Office Of Fair Trading to stand up for them.  The OFT’s decision now to drop their action against the banks is a national disgrace of monstrous proportions.  Although we cannot be sure of exactly who is behind this scandal, the fact that dishonesty, corruption and theft are at the root of it is manifest and crystal clear.

The banks were making around £7 billion a year in charges, most of which were for unauthorised overdrafts.  Claimants would have been able to claim for six years of charges so the banks have been let off a £40 billion hook.  Never have the British people been so let down by those who are supposed to protect them.

The High Court first made the extraordinary decision that these charges were not penalty charges.  This is nonsense.  HSBC actually described many of their charges to me as “card misuse” – so is that a penalty or not?.  Of course they were and as such were illegal and unenforceable at law.  When the banks debited your account like this they were committing theft and they’ve got away with it scot free.

It has now been well established that the actual cost to the banks of these transactions were less than £2 each when they were charging their customers up to £40 a time.

It must be truly astonishing to any right minded person that the OFT has backed down.  Even in the last Supreme Court judgement the OFT was given a clear hint, more like an invitation, that it should revert to the Court on a different basis.  So what possible reason can there be for abandoning the claim?

There can be no doubt that this decision is improper.  I wonder why it was announced on 22nd December when the entire country was at the peak of its pre-Christmas mass hysteria?

Two Faced Coward

John Fingleton, the OFT’s chief executive, should resign immediately.  He is either corrupt or weak.  He certainly has no integrity because whatever pressure or bribery has been put upon him he should have fought to his last breath to stop this massive crime by the banker robbers.

We cannot rely on these paper tigers of consumer protection.  We certainly cannot rely on government.  It is doubtful that our self-serving, whipped and bullied MPs will do anything meaningful.   It seems the only option now may be molotov cocktails through the door of every bank premises throughout the country.   How else are we supposed to protect ourselves when we are so badly let down?

We live in an entirely monetised society.  It is impossible to function without a bank account.  Therefore, the banker robbers must be regulated virtually to death.  Their policies and profits must be ruthlessly controlled.  Their crimes must not be overlooked but punished severely with massive multi-billion pound fines for the institutions and long prison sentences for the responsible executives.

I have always sworn that I would never buy any DRM music.  It’s a fundamentally flawed and immoral idea that if I pay for music I shouldn’t have the right to play it where, when and on what I want.  It’s an idea that is doomed to failure.  Even Steve Jobs, the gamekeeper turned poacher turned lord of the manor turned poacher has recognised that it has exactly the opposite effect to that intended and alienates customers too.

So what has caused me to break my resolution?  The X Factor.  It has to be bad that every Christmas the charts are hijacked by manufactured pop.  I don’t count “Rage Against The Machine” as my favourite band but I spent 67p at Tesco’s online music store and got my DRM track.

You should join in too!  See the Facebook campaign page and rage against The X Factor!

The BA cabin crew strike over Christmas is a huge mistake by the staff and the union.  It’s a disaster for the company.

Crashing

The union “Unite” is just about all that’s left of the entire trade union movement anyway.  There’s not much else left that has any power. It looks like some latter day Scargill is behind this idiotic strike.  If Unite hoped to gain some public sympathy by destroying a million passengers’ Christmas plans then it has made a grave miscalculation.

As for the staff, we no longer have any remaining affection for this strange group of people.  Once, of course, they were central to the glamour of air travel.  Now, the fact that nearly all the men are homosexual has gone beyond a joke and become oppressive.  The girls are no longer sweet and delightful. Now they are like severe school mistresses, more concerned with monitoring your alcohol consumption than being appropriately deferential and making you feel special.

It’s not BA’s fault that all the glamour has gone and that air travel is now an ordeal rather than a pleasure.  That is down to Easyjet and the appalling Ryanair and vulgar Michael O’Leary.

This is dreadful news for all concerned but the public will punish BA severely.  Any loyalty or talk of “favourite” is all gone now.  There will be long term, severe and well-deserved consequences for the staff.

We’re told that the banks have to pay big bonuses in order to retain and attract the right staff.  We’re told that unless we shell out millions to these mysterious unnamed individuals, these “masters of the universe”, that we can kiss goodbye to the money we’ve already put in.  We’ll be damaging our own investment.

Twaddle!  Rubbish!  Bulls**t!  Bollo**s!

These people aren’t doctors or scientists or lawyers or architects – or even plumbers or electricians.  They’re blaggers.  Nothing more, nothing less.  All they’re doing with these ridiculous claims is trying to blag us all over again.  Their job is little different from that of an advertising salesman who sits on the phone all day and maybe makes £1000 or £2000 a week.  In fact, many salesman have much wider knowledge, better people skills and sharper brains than these wide boys in the city that have nerve, greed and little else to offer.

This is just an attempt to blackmail us.  There are tens of thousands of bright, keen, hungry people out there who could do these bankers’ jobs with very little difficulty.  In fact, fresh new blood that hasn’t been corrupted by the past would be a much better idea.  We could recruit from the world of advertising, from market traders flogging fruit, vegetables, meat, fish and “knock off”.  Why not just pick a few MBA graduates at random or take the top banking graduates from last year and give them the big jobs?

Con Man

None of these people could do any worse than the sharks who got us into this trouble in the first place.  Those, like Stephen Hester of RBS, who have taken over recently are no better.  They’re still infected with the same ways as before.  After Chief Thief Goodwin has had his turn in the trough they’re just elbowing through for their own go.

There is no special expertise or skill required to be a banker.  Don’t let these charlatans and sons of charlatans tell you any different.

Don’t wait for the RBS directors’ resignations.  Sack them now for having the audacity to try and pull the wool over our eyes once again.

About four months ago I embarked on a course of medication for high blood pressure.  For some time I’d been warned that I was marginal with a reading of 140/90 so I decided it was time to start looking after myself.  I was a heavy smoker and drinker.  My only redeeming factor was that I walk with my dogs every day for about an hour – and that’s vigorous walking, up and down steep hills.

I was started on a calcium antagonist and within a few days I had virtually lost the will to live.  I had no energy at all.  I’d lost all motivation.  In the most degrading epsiode of all, one morning I found myself prostrate on the sofa watching “Homes Under the Hammer”.  That’s when I knew it was serious.

I took myself straight off that poison and went back to see my GP.   My blood pressure reading was now 168/100.  He advised a change to a thiazide diuretic.  Being the not so patient patient that I am, I insisted on a full explanation as far as my “O” level science was capable of understanding.

This time it was more subtle.  My energy, motivation and enthusiasm was sapped gradually.  As my positive life signs went down my thirst rocketed to absurd proportions.  After a month or so I was regularly up six times a night with a raging thirst and a full bladder.  When I cleaned out the space behind the passenger seat in my car I had two carrier bags full of empty drink bottles.

In the meantime, I gave up smoking.  I give the pharmaceutical industry credit for this.  A month of patches and a nicotine inhaler weaned me off the evil weed easily.  About this I am both pleased and proud.  I have at least one  “cigarette moment” every day but I am not going back to it.  Although I can recognise no physiological benefit at all (if anything I seem to get more breathless now), I am much richer and everything around me is cleaner as a result.

The next visit to my GP saw my pressure reduced to 150/95.  Better but not good enough.  He advised me to start taking an ACE inhibitor as well as the diuretic.

I researched ACE inhibitors and was horrified at the range of side effects and contraindications.  Then, suddenly, coming fast up behind and undertaking me before I knew what was happening (forgive my blushes) I discovered I was impotent.  One embarrassing date and then a dawning realisation that nothing was happening, even involuntarily.  No more waking up with a big itch!

I’m not ready to give up my sex life just yet.  The one and only criticism I have of my GP is that he never warned me of this side effect.  I have also cut my drinking by a huge proportion.  From a half bottle of whisky upwards a day I am now comfortable with a single glass of wine or a small beer.  In the last few weeks my motivation has gone again.  I can’t be bothered with long walks with the dogs anymore.  Just half an hour out in the mornings and I’m exhausted.  I’m not interested in anything.   My occasional lunchtime nap has become a necessity.  Sometimes, even before midday I feel so exhausted, I just can’t wait to go back to bed.

Four days ago I stopped the diuretic and yesterday I felt like I had got my life back.  I have so much more energy.  I’m enthusiastic as I can’t remember for months.  I fair romped up the hill with the dogs this morning.  My thirst is calming down and I was only up twice last night.  My mojo isn’t back yet but I can feel a little twitch developing.  Come Christmas time I advise you to lock up your daughters once again.

The punch line? My blood pressure is now 170/110.  I may be heading for a massive stroke or heart attack any minute but at least I’ll die happy.  Despite giving up smoking and decimating my alcohol consumption, my blood pressure is much worse than when I started.  So what does that tell me?

I have no idea at all but at least now I have a smile on my face!

Please Close The Door On Your Way Out

RBS Directors Threaten To Resign

Gentlemen, we are happy to accept your resignations – effective immediately.

…and don’t come round for mince pies this year.  If you do you’ll get a glass of wine over your head and your fat tush dumped in the snow!

Dogs have lived alongside man for tens of thousands of years.  Even before our species could be so defined our predecessors made a pact with each other.  Mutual advantage was the bargain and so it has been ever since.  The relationship is in our DNA.  There is a primeval bond between us.

Capone & Carla

Dogs can be dangerous.  Mostly this is a function of how they are treated but there is the wild card.  I would never, ever leave any breed of dog alone with a child.   Thankfully, considering how many badly treated dogs and irresponsible owners there are, tragedies are few and far between.  Nothing can extinguish the agony of what happened in Liverpool yesterday but there is a solution.

Bring back the dog licence.  Make it cost £100 per year.  Give pensioners a rebate of £90.  Every dog must be microchipped to correspond with its licence.  Enforce it.  Guaranteed, problem solved.

Instead we have idiotic politicians who play about with incompetent, ridiculous and irrelevant legislation like the Dangerous Dogs Act – while children are mauled to death in their own homes.

Bootiful

I have no sympathy at all for those stupid enough to have got themselves caught up in this vulgar triumph of cash over taste.  By definition that means that the banks are heavily involved, once again debasing and diluting the real wealth created in the real world.

Something about Dubai had a bad taste from day one.  The sort of acrid, bad taste that you know there’s something deep, deep down that is bad.

In fact that’s the only thing to say about Dubai – bad taste.

Justice?

Is it to overlook Parliament’s clear intent and to focus on the minutiae of poorly drafted legislation?  Is it to preserve and strengthen the law or is it to be focused on justice?  Is it to consider cases only on the basis of pleadings presented by barristers or should it look to the wider issue?  Is it to bolster the use of disproportionate power with which big institutions bully their customers or should it be to enforce fairness?  Is it for “distinguished” lawyers to live out their latter years in fine, new ermine robes in luxurious surroundings or is it  to promote justice?

I don’t know.  Do you?

In an outrageous and disgraceful judgment the supreme court (no more capital “S” or “C” from me) has protected our corrupt banking institutions from the Office Of Fair Trading.  See the full story here.

Stupid Old Fools

The supreme court had the opportunity in one of its first judgments to set itself on the side of the people and justice.  Instead it has shown itself to be on the side of the establishment, the banker robbers and the executive.  If only this would herald the arrival of the tumbrils and guillotine into the streets of London.  Then the bankers and the judges would understand the meaning of injustice as their headless bodies lie in the street and others twitch and dangle from the gallows.

The OFT has been shown to be as toothless and useless as the Data Protection Act and the Information Commissioner.  These institutions are established merely as a sop to public opinion.  The establishment, the banker robbers and the executive have  no interest in justice for the people, only in lining their own pockets and protecting their own interests.  They can lend each other £60 billion or more in secret, deceive the public interest, yet they will not overturn the gross injustice and blatant thievery that are bank charges.

The bankers and the judges molested and buggered each other at Eton and Harrow.  They molested and buggered each other at Oxbridge.  Now incapable, except for a little self-molestation, they are buggering us.  Watch them get away with it as they duck, dive, lie, cheat and bribe their way out of trouble.  It may be difficult to prove the brown envelopes changing hands but what is happening in these judges’ offshore accounts?  We hold you all in the deepest contempt!

Next will come the supreme court overturning Sir Christopher Kelly’s proposal for the reform of MPs’ expenses.  Coming up on the inside is the Iraq Inquiry which will almost certainly see Tony Blair off the hook for lying to Parliament and the people.

It may be difficult to contemplate revolution in the modern age but in 1789 Paris and 1917 Moscow that was their modern age.  The establishment needs to understand that its conduct is unacceptable, that with the gift of the internet and communications technology, the people have far more power. You are walking a tightrope towards your own destruction.

This was the term used by a Mr Ian Rapley of Consensus/Peverel on BBC Breakfast this morning when being interviewed about the management of sheltered accommodation.

The man is a fool and an oaf and should be sacked immediately.  I eventually managed to track down his companies.  Peverel say they are “disgusted” by the way he behaved and that in fact he is not part of their company but part of their “owners”,  Consensus Business Group.  It, in turn, is owned by Vincent Tchenguiz, one of the richest men in the country.

I am usually complaining about people being too politically correct but this is a prime example of pompous, insensitive, ignorant and unforgiveable rudeness.  There can be no excuse.

It is a disgrace that we have not been able to watch the glorious Ashes victory on TV.  I blame Murdoch.  I blame the BBC.  I blame the government.

Even if I was prepared to pay to watch something that it is my right as a British citizen to see on free-to-air television, why would I want to be paying Sky for football?  I cannot buy just the cricket or the rugby.  I have to take the ignorant, overpaid ponces, Ruski-paid whores as well!  I don’t want one second more of this moronic game for badly behaved children on my TV than I already have.

If this apology for a government that has heaped so much disgrace and ignominy on our country wanted to do one decent thing in its death throes then legislate to bring test match cricket back to the people.

That’s you and me.  We’re the one’s who’ve been conned and cheated.  Gordon, Alistair, the FSA – they’re all either criminally negligent incompetents or co-conspirators.

Absolutely nothing has changed in the world of banking.  Is any more proof needed that the people running banks are liars, cheats and thieves?  Aside from the systematic extortion of the taxpayer, none of the promises about lending to the real ecomony or reining in their depraved “culture” have been kept.

Spineless assurances will not do anymore.  The government must radically overhaul the terms of the licences under which banks operate.   Real leadership and responsibility is needed now to ensure that this happens  before the end of the year – not after months or years of consultation and behind the scenes corruption.

Businesses that want to enjoy the huge privilege of serving UK consumers as bankers must be held to a strict and rigidly enforced rulebook.   No participation in casino banking, minimum levels of lending, maximum levels of interest rates and charges, a “right to borrow” for those businesses and consumers who meet straightforward criteria.

These steps are essential to re-establish the operation of an effective market economy.  In a world which has become entirely monetised we can no longer be subject to the rapacious and avaricious behaviour of those who run the money business.

Alexandra Shulman, editor of Vogue, has accused leading fashion designers of ignoring concerns about size zero models.

Poor, Pitiful Girl!

See here.

The uncomfortable truth is that all these designers are either homosexual or entirely submerged in the “gay” culture that infects their industry.  They aren’t interested in designing for beautiful women.  They want pretty boys.

The vast majority of us have a healthy interest in beautiful women in beautiful clothes.  These trivial but talented individuals are out of step, out of time and out of any more excuses.  They are responsible for too much misery and suffering.  The modern prevalence of anorexia and bulimia is almost entirely down to these brightly coloured, beautifully tailored, perverted fools.

It is time that wiser minds with far better taste prevailed.  Do what you want to do in the privacy of your own homes but leave our young women’s minds alone and turn your talent in a positive direction.

A Real Woman

It must be the first football match I’ve watched in 18 months.  I thought it was worth investing the time.  After all, it was hyped to the level where it became an event rather than just a sports occasion.  But then really, football lost all that years ago. When the various mafiosi, the agents, the primadonnas and the gross, obscene salaries took hold, football lost everything it ever had of value.

So, hilariously, ITV’s HD coverage stepped into the rhythm, just four minutes before half time and cut, bizarrely, to shots of bleach blonde, just-retired footballers in the usual badly fitting suits, adjusting their lunchboxes and utterly tasteless ties, commentators preparing for their imminent incisive anlayses, wiping away the smears of mayonnaise and more exotic “amuse  bouche”  from their lips.

Perfectly appropriate, I thought!

What happened to Roy Of The Rovers and football as a role model?  These spoilt, vastly over paid, perversions of sporting talent, ill mannered, conceited, ignorant individuals.  They are porn stars and nothing more.  They don’t even deliver.  Give me a third rate club rugby player, or a rower, a cyclist, a swimmer.  Why is the world infected with this football virus?

The beautiful game?  In the eye of the beholder without lager, violence, chav celebrity culture, we can do much. much better than this!

Truth is, 10 minutes into the second half, I turned over to watch “The Apprentice”.

Yesterday, Margaret Haywood, a nurse at the Royal Sussex Hospital, who helped expose appalling standards of care of elderly people was struck off the nursing register by the Nursing & Midwifery Council.  For the full story go here.

Margaret Haywood

This is an example of the very worst of Britain.  What prehistoric, myopic, downright stupid bunch of idiots managed to come up with a decision like this?  Amidst this country’s many wonderful attributes one of our worst is this inability to move forward, to catch up with the times.  I’m afraid that the members of the panel responsible for this ruling have made real fools of themselves.

It is 100% clear that Ms Haywood’s actions were in the interests of patients and this must override any other consideration.  Any set of rules or procedures that doesn’t allow for this fundamental priority needs to be changed.  Surely a High Court action (the Royal College of Nursing should fund it) will sweep away this ruling and reinstate Ms Haywood with compensation and an unreserved public apology.

Today I launched a new website.

www.leadingedgepersonaltechnology.com

It was wonderful to see Tiscali exposed on Watchdog this evening.  For years it has demonstrated itself to be a company to avoid. It is so clearly focused on profit rather than on customers that its death wish is about to be fulfilled.

When will the dumb suits that run businesses like this wake up to real life?  This is a tale of greed and disrespect for consumers – just like the banks.  The company has consumed itself with avarice and aspiration rather than delivering a service

I’ve had two Iomega Storcenters now.  The first was 1 TB and after about 18 months it failed for no reason I can understand and took nearly a terabyte of movies and backups with it.  The second was 3 TB – yes, you may well ask, why did I do it again?  That has failed now after about 12 months with about 2.5 terabytes of my data on it.

Iomega support is as useless now as it was the first time.  I’d already tried everything they could suggest before I rang them.  Being told in a thick French accent that the Iomega warranty does not cover any data loss and that I may want to contact a local data recovery expert just doesn’t do it for me.  It leaves me extremely fed up.

The problem is these NAS (Network Attached Storage) devices are a RAID array of disks interrupted by a Linux subsystem so if anything goes wrong you’ve got no chance of using a Windows PC to do anything about it.

Having failed to learn my lesson the first time, now I know that I will never, ever even consider Iomega or NAS as a solution again.  These are inevitable disasters in big shiny boxes just waiting to happen.  I have seven SATA hard disks in my system that I can monitor and maintain under Windows.  If the worst happens I know I can at least try to recover some of the data and will almost certainly succeed to some degree.

Stay well away from NAS.

http://www.worldsworstbanker.com/

I urge you to go to this site and sign the two petitions listed there.

The first is about the reduction of his pension.  Personally, I think he should lose it all.  I would have no objection to the introduction of the Fred Goodwin Pension Confiscation Act 2009.  As the Prime Minister endlessly repeats: “These are extraordinary times…”

The second is on the Number 10 website and calls for the removal of his knighthood “for services to banking”… cough, cough, choke, gag, choke, cough…

Pundits talk about whether the future of democracy is in online participation.  There’s no doubt that it is worth making the effort and signing these two petitions.

In a cold hearted, clinical and utterly callous way, we must bring “Sir” Fred Goodwin to heel, to the gutter, to grovel and to ignominy as he richly and deeply deserves.

There are many ways that the government can do this.  I suggest that the most effective is simply not to pay him and let him sue.  This is a pragmatic and commercial approach but, irrespective of its outcome, simultaneously we must prosecute this fundamentally evil individual with all the vigour that honourable and decent society can muster.

If we force him to sue for the rewards of failure then he will have to make his case and I do not believe he wil be able to under the overriding doctrine of “reasonableness”.

However, in the interests of justice, denying him money is insufficient.  Nothing less than criminal punishment will suffice.  Surely,  if our tradition of common law has any relevance, it must be able to sanction his behaviour.

Lawyers must consider whether there is a case for criminal negligence, for conspiracy, for perjury or for any derivative of theft.  Our Judges must package his offences in a way that can produce serious and effective penalties.

Without doubt though this “man”, this “Sir” has deceived.  He lied to the Select Committee saying that he had received no compensation for loss of office.  He has cheated us all.  Whether he retains his obscene pension or not he must be jailed.  Only then will justice be done.

It is truly pathetic isn’t it to see these pathetic, small men grubbing around in the gutter to try and save themselves?

“Sir” James Crosby runs HBOS into the ground then bails out at the last minute to become vice-chairman of the FSA.  You really couldn’t make these things up unless you were writing a Mafia or organised crime novel.

He becomes one of the Prime Minister’s cronies and overpaid advisors but then is caught out by the whistleblower who he sacked.

They are tumbling like nine pins now but who is still getting away with it?  Who has been in post for longer than any of these bank robbers?  Who was responsible for settiong up the regulatory system that has proved to be corrupt and incompetent?  Gordon Brown, the worst, most corrupt, most incompetent, most myopic, most venal of them all.

There is no more time.  This tyrant must be overthrown now.  All these knighthoods must be withdrawn.  Criminal investigations and personal bankruptcies must follow.

When “Sir” Fred Goodwin lost the plot this morning and started wandering off in his hallucinatory world about how he could legitimately re-package sub-prime mortgages as a AAA security, well then we saw the truth.

The man is stark, raving mad.  He continues in his delusion that the world he helped to create makes some sense.  He should be sectioned immediately.

In this competitive internet world, what happens when your ISP (and your long-established email address) gets taken over or merged into another organisation?

In a market where there are no prizes for customer service at all, what can you expect from a provider who already has a reputation as the blackest of the black sheep?

When Tiscali took over Homechoice about a year ago, the Homechoice website continued up until early this month. Last year there was a downtime of far too many days on the Homechoice POP servers and all sorts of problems with trying to administer email accounts. There was no explanation at all, let alone any apology.

Early this month everything went down again for several days. When the POP server came back up the website had disappeared leaving just a re-direct to the Tiscali homepage.

Then last week everything stopped again. Emails to Homechoice support were returned as undeliverable and those to Tiscali went unanswered. I went to Tiscali’s PR agency and then direct to the Tiscali’s Chief of PR and my own email address started working again.

I discovered today that Tiscali has dumped Homechoice. Apparently “legacy” Homechoice email addresses have been ported over to Tiscali’s own servers but it’s quite clear that there will be noi more support for creating or deleting email accounts or changing passwords.

The Tiscali insider I spoke to said himself “You’d think they could have sent out a letter or an email or something”.

Unfortunately, of course, this is just par for the course for this industry and Tiscali’s reputation is such that it seems to set the standards for abysmal and irresponsible customer service.

No explanation. No communication. No apology.

It is infuriating to see them now scurrying and rushing to reduce their interest rates after the outcry at their dilatory and greedy response to the Bank Of England’s massive rate cut.

We are going to to have to drag the w**ker bankers every greasy step of the way to a place where they start behaving responsibly and fulfilling their obligations to us as major shareholders.  We are going to have to watch their dishonest and deceitful efforts to snaffle huge bonuses, in shares if not cash, and we are going to have to treat them as the completely untrustworthy spivs that they are.

What is clear that some of them are already getting away with it because the government has been so weak in stipulating the conditions and “mechanisms”, as Gordon Brown put it, that will control their greed and thievery.

It is time to start naming names and for the work to be done that will uncover and expose those who have manipulated the system for their own ends.

The first candidate for the WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE poster is Bob Diamond of Barclays. 

Bob Diamond, Barclays

It is generally agreed that he has spurned the government’s rescue package in favour of the Arabs so that he can hang on to his outrageous, undeserved multimillion pound bonus.  I will be researching his record in more detail.

Please submit your nominations for WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE bankers with as much evidence as you can.

Whoever said “It’s Blue Peter for grown ups” hit the spot perfectly.  Perhaps it’s because I’m hopelessly besotted with Christine but no, it’s much more than that.

I admit, openly, without regret or embarrassment that on Facebook I am a member of the “When I grow up, I want to marry Christine Bleakley from ‘The One Show’” and the “Christine Bleakley: the sexiest TV presenter in the world” groups.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=578616094&ref=profile

The One Show is a masterpiece.  It crams so much information and entertainment in.  It rivets me, not least because every day now I look for the slightest reference to Christine’s “Strictly” life. (Yes, I am obsessed).

I think the secret is that it’s live and that many of the features are made under pressure within very tight timeframes.  These are the circumstances that bring out the best in many creative people when the adrenalin kicks in and the job just has to be finished.

I think The One Show has all the makings of a BBC classic. It could even be around for as long as Blue Peter.

So is this to be pattern that our rescue of the w**ker bankers will follow?

Northern Rock is now owned by you and me.  Not by Gordon, Alistair and their cronies but by British taxpayers.  Do we want them throwing people out of their homes onto the streets so that we then have to pick up the bill for re-housing and supporting them?

Now that the “new” management has got its greedy hands back on the tiller they’re heading straight for deep water where they can pillage, plunder and overfish yet again.

I say get rid of all the w**ker bankers and put some real business people in charge.  We don’t want the “experience” of those that have mismanaged banks already.  We want new blood, fresh ideas, people who know the reality of business, not the fantasy world of banking.

I hope and pray that our rescue of these organisations will prove successful based on root and branch reform of the way they do business.  We don’t want a few token sacrifices.  We want all the dead and rotten wood cut out.

Let’s remember that these scoundrels still owe most of us many thousands of pounds in illegal bank charges they have stolen from us.  Perhaps as much as £50 billion over the last six years.  The sooner the OFT gets its finger out and resolves this outstanding matter the better.

I am delighted to see that The Times and now, this morning, Andrew Marr, are joining me in calling for bankers to be brought to account.  The “Thunderer” even said that “heads must roll”.  Roll they must, many of them, until the baskets are full and the streets of the City are running with blood.  The executions should take place in public so that the greedy thieves and scoundrels who have pillaged our economy can be subject to public humiliation and villification as they meet their doom.

I will carry the metaphor no further but the dread and fear that should now be ruining the weekends of the chief executives and chairmen of the banks should be little different from that of the French aristocrats awaiting the guillotine.

We must insist that those individuals who have taken multi million pound bonuses from banks, funds and all forms of financial institutions that are now insolvent must be able to justify the payments in the same way that a director of a small business that had gone bust might have to explain his drawings to a liquidator.  In many instances money will have to be recovered.

Whether guilty of personal wrongdoing or not, the chairmen, chief executives and non-executive directors who have presided over this catastrophe must take responsibility and go!  The same sanction must fall on the heads of the regulators.

Lord Adair Turner, Chairman, and Jon Pain, Managing Director Retail Markets, who both accepted poisoned chalices at the FSA only last month may have some excuse but the rest of the board should be summarily dismissed, not even allowed to resign.

Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling have been extraordinarily unequivocal in many of their statements this week.  We want to know much, much more detail about the “mechanisms” that will put in place to restrain the banks in future.   If the taxpayer has saved your business then in future you will not be gambling on ludicrously complex financial products that only you understand and for which you set the rules.  We prefer that you lend £100,000 to a small business rather than £10 million to a virtual roulette wheel.

“There a million stories in the Naked City”.  Now is the time for “le dénouement”.

Recently I have been the victim of false and inaccurate information published on my credit file.  I am certain that there are hundreds of thousands of other people in the same position.  Experian and Equifax, the two key offenders in this, seem to be above the law, certainly above justice.  They can say what they want with impunity and if you want to do anything about it you are faced with convoluted, complicated and lengthy processes that are clearly designed to grind you down and deter any correction of the nonsense that these modern day robber barons want to publish.

The Data Protection Act, which is supposed to protect us from such iniquitous conduct and the Information Commissioner, who is supposed to be our guardian in such matters, are both toothless, useless and all part of the self-sustaining system promulgated by the banks which is a matter of national scandal.

Of course, a large part of their power comes from the fact that nobody wants to put their head above the parapet for fear of making their own position worse.  This is the real iniquity which makes their oppression self-sustaining, in fact, makes it stronger and stronger the longer it is allowed to continue.

At the most basic level you are entitled under law to get a copy of your own credit file within seven days for a fee of £2.00.  I wonder if anyone has ever actually achieved this?  It took me something in excess of six weeks to get mine after I’d been told that my requests hadn’t been received, that my identity needed to be verified, that they had a large backlog of requests.  They use the Data Protection Act as a reason they cannot  comply with the Data Protection Act and if you make a complaint to the Information Commissioner, as I have, well you might as well p**s in the wind because it just gets lost in a morass of queues, delays, bureaucracy and I expect I’ll be lucky to hear anything a year from now.

There are many, many more impenetrable layers to this.  Experian and Equifax both operate some of the worst designed, most difficult websites I have ever come across.  They provide you with reference numbers that when you enter them precisely as given to you in writing you are told that they are in an “incorrect format”.  They promise to acknowledge queries but do not do so.  They provide hundreds and hundreds of pages of useless, confusing, mind-numbing “information” which you have to wade through before you can make a specific enquiry.

There is only one conclusion that any reasonable person can make and that it that these websites are deliberately designed to obfuscate, to confuse and to deter the man in the street from proceeding any further.

I discovered a County Court Judgment registered against me in a case where I am suing a local authority (yes, I am suing them!) and in which I have a document in front of me with a Court stamp stating that no such judgment exists.  I discovered another entirely fictitious judgment which was shown on my credit file this month (August), supposedly made in 2006, which did not show on my own copy of my credit file in June.

The buck really does stop with the Information Commissioner but he, Richard Thomas, appointed by the Queen, as I have already demonstrated, is worse than useless and is merely a sop to deflect any concern about this dastardly conduct that the banks and financial tyrants are engaged in.

The property market is, once again, difficult for everyone.  In recent weeks we have even been asked to have some sympathy for that most despised group of parasites, estate agents – but I have none.  Truth is that their “profession” is a necessary evil and in good times as in bad it is only those with some standards and, maybe, a little integrity that are worth dealing with.

In the past twelve months I have had comprehensive experience of the estate agents in and around Emsworth, Portsmouth and Chichester.  There have been one or two who have been a pleasure to deal with, who have been professional, efficient and helpful.  Others have been uninterested and disinterested, unethical, inefficient and some are little short of crooked.

First, the positive.  There is one firm that shines out as example to all others – Henry Adams.  I have not bought, sold, rented or let a single property from them but I have viewed many and I can truthfully say that every transaction has been smooth, easy and as it should be.  If only I could say the same for the rest.

Borland & Bound of Emsworth, Charlotte and Alison in their lettings department are liars.  If you stalk the internet property sites, as I know how to do, you can catch the new properties immediately they come to market.  If you’re quick on the draw the truth becomes evident.  Agents which pick and choose who they sell or let to and at what price.  Whether it is their sister’s best friend’s cousin’s daughter or their next door neighbour’s husband who they share a bottle of cheap white wine with every Wednesday afternoon, there are  dishonest people out there that you cannot rely on to deal with you properly.  Borland & Bound told me for a week that they just couldn’t get hold of the landlord to arrange a viewing.  Then I met another prospective tenant outside another property who told me that they’d viewed the Borland & Bound property the day before.  Borland & Bound then told me they’d had a “bad” reference on me.  I ask, from who, on what authority, when did I give you the information or source from which to take a reference?  Is that the best bullshit you can come up with?  I wonder what the truth is?

Then there was “Zone” of Chichester.  What dreadful 1980s-type “brand” is that and can anyone take a firm with such a name seriously?  I had to try to because some unsuspecting property owner who had exactly what I wanted in Bosham had made the mistake of hiring this firm and apparently causing it all sorts of problems.  After all, business would be so much easier, wouldn’t it, if it wasn’t for those dreadful people we call customers?

It was so much trouble to arrange a viewing.  Five or six telephone calls were never returned and eventually produced the reaction that “we might be able to arrange a viewing in a week or so”.  “Please don’t pester us.  You’re probably not the sort of tenant we want because you’d be on the phone all the time”.

Eventually a viewing was arranged but when I called to ask for directions I was told “I’m far too busy.  Ask someone in the street”.  Then surprise, surprise, “the landlord has a prior offer”, “the property is now off the market”.

It must be unpleasant to have to demean yourself, to lie, to cheat, to deceive but perhaps some of these estate agents enjoy their work.  I can think of no other explanation.

I love eggs, particularly lightly scrambled with loads of butter, or lightly boiled. In both cases with lots of salt, black pepper and fresh granary bread (and more butter). I buy into the River Cottage campaign completely on all the bases of animal welfare, taste and nutritional value.

As you will have gathered, I am also a glutton, so I habitually go for the “Very Large Organic Free Range”. Every time I crack one it runs all over the pan and frequently breaks the yolk.

My father, who has not yet achieved enlightenment on this issue buys the cheapest he can get, usually packs of 15 from Sainsbury.

Regrettably, (and please can someone explain?!!) every time I cook breakfast at my parents’, every egg that I crack holds together tight and firm and upright, looks fresh, tastes better…

I don’t want this to be the truth but it is. Not just once but over a period of months. Something is wrong here. There is someone being dishonest about some stage in the egg process.

Can anyone explain?